On Raising Girls

I read a clever post about raising boys a few weeks ago, and it made me think a lot about raising girls (and having a mother AND a sister), so I thought I'd share...

1) My mother was right.
Note: About everything.
2) Nail glue is MORE forever than SuperGlue. In fact, nail glue will burn a hole through the skin of a 12 year old's finger OR adhese the toddler's hair to her favorite pajamas until you cut it out.
Note: Once washed, the glue AND the hair will still be attached to the PJ's.
3) Hormones begin affecting personality at birth. It just gets worse in puberty.
Note: It doesn't get better once they "start".
4) The term "catfight" didn't come from cats... cats fighting just look and sound like 2 sisters fighting over who gets to use the phone first.
5) The mother curse... the one where a mom says, "I hope you have a daughter who grows up and treats you just like you treat me"??? Yeah, that one... it WORKS.
Note: My mother used to say she never said that. Now she admits saying it, but claims she never MEANT it.
Note to note: When I use it, I'll mean it. In my old age, I may even help it along. "Yes honey, you can come live with Grandma if your mom is mean...."
6) The cat vomit from the brother's washing-machine-experiment WILL make the sisters ALSO vomit.
Note: So will scooping dog poop out of the yard, cleaning the cat box, the baby spitting up in another room, jumping on the trampoline after eating too much ice cream, finding your 9-year-old brother's sweaty socks under your pillow as retribution for punching him earlier in the week, or catching a glimpse of same brother streaking from his bedroom to the bathroom to take a shower. (Mah-ahm, make him STOP! I don't want to look at THAT! I'm going to throw up!) Note to note: Stop what? Bathing? Running the 10 steps naked? We moved the girls to their own floor...two stories down...to preserve everyone's privacy. Here's a TIP! Stop LOOKING! You're supposed to be in the kitchen loading the dishwasher anyway! I digress...)
7) Apparently, skipping a shower after soccer practice and going to school the next day is no big deal if you spray yourself with one gallon of "body spray" from Bath & BodyWorks.
8) A terrible movie with terrible acting becomes the "best movie I've EVER seen in my whole entire life EVER" if the "most beautiful, hottest actor EVER" is in a lead role.
Note: If he's in a minor role, then the movie is the "worst movie EVER" because he wasn't in it ENOUGH.
9) Sometimes, there is crying in baseball... AND soccer... AND even cheerleading.
Note: Occassionally, tennis also... if you ALWAYS get partnered with someone you don't like to play with because she's not any good, and NO ONE likes her ANYWAY, and if I play with HER, then NO ONE will like MEEEEE and I won't have ANY friends... boo hoo.
10) Wearing deoderant is something you have to do EVERY day...EVEN if you THINK you don't smell AND you have on a gallon of body spray.
11) My mother told me that growing up I had "The Princess Syndrome", meaning that I "acted like" I was entitled to be treated like a princess. Was that wrong???
NEWSFLASH: A study has shown that "The Princess Syndrome" IS hereditary, AND often mutates into a more serious condition with the next generation, AND worsens with each girl child that is added to the family. Note: We have 3- ages 14, 12 and 3.
12) Behavior of the little brother that is repulsive to the point of violence is NOT repulsive if he is a male, not related to you, of the same approximate age as yourself, ESPECIALLY if he is "really hot".
Note: "really hot" is defined by your friends and has nothing whatsoever to do with character, personality or even whether the guy is nice (and frankly, I'm not sure it even has anything to do with his looks, but no one asked me.)
13) The toddler daughter howls "IS NO FAAAAAIR" that she can't drink a coke at bedtime or that her brother won't let her in his room to destroy his Lego ships. You can't say "Life isn't fair" to a girl too many times.
14) I OBVIOUSLY have NO idea what it's like to be a teenage girl in this generation! AND, I have NO sense of style whatsoever.
Note: Neither did MY mother. What does that tell you?
15) My mother SWEARS that her sister put salt in a scratch on her arm (made by my mother) to get her into MORE trouble. I used to antagonize MY sister by sucker-punching her, then running away so she would chase me, then start screaming my head off BEFORE she got to me to get HER into MORE trouble. My girls had a big fight, and one came upstairs crying. Soon after, the "offender" came up taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness. The "injured" begged us NOT to ground her or spank her on the grounds that she didn't mean to hurt her and it doesn't hurt that much anymore anyway. What??? Will someone please explain that to me??? Where is the perverse pleasure of a sibling falling into ill-favor with the parents???

My main point is that while girls are tough to understand, prone to mood swings and inconsistency, at the heart of the matter, at least here, they have a deep and profound love for one another. They follow patterns (sometimes) and generational guidelines (other times). Some things make sense, many things don't. My older girls have learned to protect each other like a cherished treasure. If one is punished, they both suffer. They love on their younger sister like she IS indeed a princess...even when she's being demanding, obnoxious and two...sounds more like a REAL princess.

When it comes to their brother, they agree wholeheartedly that he is pretty much unacceptable (except when he's charming them with his extreme sense of humor, then he is allowed to live in a tenuous truce). Therefore they present a united front: them against the "boy" (who is laughing all the way into the parents' room for some action flick with Dad after bedtime). They agree about his uselessness, unless of course someone OUTSIDE our family is picking on him. In that case, the offensive person will rue the day he (or she) was born. I pity the first girl to break his heart. The sisters will show no mercy.

Women, girls, sisters... a strange and exotic breed. So how do we, as parents, win? Enjoy the sound of their hushed whispers when they're sharing a confidence, relish the gentle tinkling of their giggles over an inside joke, and even appreciate the flash in their eyes across a table when they're conspiring. Teach them to appreciate the true value of their relationship. When a girlfriend decides to hang out with someone else, it is her sister who will be there to go get an ice cream cone. When her heart is broken, it is her sister that will tell her what a jerk he was in the first place. When my husband and I are gone, it will be the sisters wiping away each other's tears and reminding the brothers how much we laughed when they were growing up. How much fun we all had being a family. How much fun we'll all have when we're together again one day. Girls are a fascinating and often frustrating enigma. But what joy and sweetness they bring to the party.